Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life (Paperback)

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Smith College professor Nagoski interprets important research in women’s sexuality and distills it into an easy-to-read narrative.  The most important concepts she describes are nonconcordance (when people’s bodies and desires act in opposite ways, and why this can happen), the difference between responsive and spontaneous desire, and even the simple truism that for too many decades, women’s sexuality was only studied vis a vis men’s, where men’s sexuality was seen as normal and women’s sexuality was abnormal where it deviated from men’s. Everybody who identifies as a woman, and everybody romantically/sexually involved with such a person should consider this required reading.  

— From Emily's Picks



An essential exploration of why and how women's sexuality works--based on groundbreaking research and brain science--that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy.

Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a "pink pill" for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never be the answer--but as a result of the research that's gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women's sexuality works than we ever thought possible, and Come as You Are explains it all.

The first lesson in this essential, transformative book by Dr. Emily Nagoski is that every woman has her own unique sexuality, like a fingerprint, and that women vary more than men in our anatomy, our sexual response mechanisms, and the way our bodies respond to the sexual world. So we never need to judge ourselves based on others' experiences. Because women vary, and that's normal.

Second lesson: sex happens in a context. And all the complications of everyday life influence the context surrounding a woman's arousal, desire, and orgasm.

Cutting-edge research across multiple disciplines tells us that the most important factor for women in creating and sustaining a fulfilling sex life, is not what you do in bed or how you do it, but how you feel about it. Which means that stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman's sexual wellbeing; they are central to it. Once you understand these factors, and how to influence them, you can create for yourself better sex and more profound pleasure than you ever thought possible.

And Emily Nagoski can prove it.
Product Details
ISBN: 9781476762098
ISBN-10: 1476762090
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Publication Date: March 3rd, 2015
Pages: 416
Language: English