Choose Your Own Misery: The Holidays (Paperback)

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Staff Reviews

This team of humor-writing alums of The Onion are back with another twisted love letter to those vintage choose your own adventure books. This time, the second-person protagonist that the reader “plays” as is all set for a nice, relaxing vacation only for a hurricane to destroy his travel plans, leaving him with a variety of impromptu choices—and none of them will end well! As you read, the most innocuous decisions will quickly spiral into unpredictably wild disasters. The dark comedy will make you laugh, and also make you more appreciative of your own family and life. A clever diversion for immature mature audiences only!

— From Ann's Picks


From The Onion alum writers Mike MacDonald and Jilly Gagnon comes a hilarious choose-your-own-path story to ruin your holiday spirit.

"Bah Humbug An ideal choice for holiday haters and readers who enjoy David Sedaris's hysterically funny take, Holidays on Ice."--Library Journal

This is the year you're going to do it: you're going to avoid Christmas completely

...or you were, until your island getaway got washed out by a hurricane. Now you have to choose: should you spend the holiday with your shrewish sister and her Europhile husband, or endure your new girlfriend's family for a week? Help chop down a tree even though it might throw out your back, or endure the icy judgment of a woman who thinks only children and pussies help bake cookies? Jet off to the glamorous slums of Kingston, Jamaica, or accept the offer of a ride from a man who never stops smiling...and is probably going to turn you into a skin suit?

From the writers who brought you the hilarious parody Choose Your Own Misery: The Office comes a second helping of misery with a festive twist. Christmas is full of fun surprises for kids, but for adults, it's just an endless series of aggressive crowds, overwhelming credit card debt, and pretending to like the people you're forced to spend it with.

Once you unwrap all the holiday misery hiding in these pages, the blackness of your heart will rival any lump of coal.

"I played this book thirty times and the happiest ending I got was one where I got to eat turkey with a badly burned hand. Seems about right. Hilarious every time."--Ryan North, New York Times bestselling author of Romeo And/Or Juliet
Product Details
ISBN: 9781682303191
ISBN-10: 1682303195
Publisher: Diversion Books
Publication Date: October 18th, 2016
Pages: 362
Language: English
Series: Choose Your Own Misery